Tonight I lit a candle, which I rarely do anymore. The thought of how much you hated them still lingers in their sweet smell. Laying in bed, I watched the light from the candle play tricks on my eyes. With each flicker of the fire, you were dancing on the wall in front of me. I seen the demons in the shadows devour you as the gust of wind overpowered the light that you had so creatively brought to me.
Now that I'm sitting in total darkness, I can't seem to get myself to go to sleep. I miss the warmth from the candle. I would have re-lit it, but I don't have anymore matches.
I've been seeking ways to relax lately; bubble baths, aroma-therapy, all that stupid shit that doesn't work. It only makes me feel good for a little while but it never fully puts my mind at ease.
Tonight I drank a glass of toxins that made me quiver from the terrible taste left on my lips. At times I can't seem to feel my legs and my eyes get heavy but your still on my mind. I couldn't stop thinking of you so I poured more into my glass and sure enough, you were gone. Never had I felt so peaceful until another gust of wind blew through my curtains and for some strange reason, it made me think of you; that in some way you were dancing among the aroma left in the room. So now I'm writing this and I'm kind of here and kind of not. I hope I'm not creating an addiction worse than you. It only makes my emotions about you stronger.
Tonight I found that I'm not a social drinker and never will be.
Instead I feel like if I ever drink another glass of poison I might start to think you're here again so I won't stop. Because honestly, it brings your memories closer to me and although my anger goes away, the pain does not.
It can't be possible that I'm like you.
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